Why Some People Always Have to Be Right

No one enjoys making mistakes. Nobody loves to be wrong. Even people who gleefully say, “Prove me wrong!” don’t want to be wrong. Those people actually are sure they are right!

But some people seem to have a compulsion to always be right. They never, ever admit wrongdoing. And they never apologize. Why is that?

Why People Can’t Admit They’re Wrong

Psychologist Dr. Guy Winch says a person who always has to be right has a fragile ego. Their self-esteem is so frail that if they are challenged, their ego cannot tolerate admitting a mistake. Instead, the person who must always be right will actually distort reality in their minds and twist it to protect themselves.¹

Here’s an extreme example. In 1956, the psychologist Leon Festinger wrote a book about a cult leader named Dorothy Martin who told her followers, the Seekers, that a flood was going to destroy the West Coast on a certain date, but a flying saucer would rescue Martin and the Seekers. On that exact date, Martin and the Seekers awaited news of the flood and rescue by the flying saucer. And they waited and waited. When it became clear her prediction was wrong, rather than admit it, Martin claimed to receive a message that the Seekers “had spread so much light” that disaster was averted and the world was spared.²

Admitting wrongdoing is often seen as a weakness. But people who never admit to a mistake can never learn from their mistakes. And people who refuse to apologize eventually damage their relationships.

How to Deal With Someone Who Always Has to Be Right

When you know you are right and another person is wrong, you may want to prove it. You might provide facts that show they were wrong. You might argue. But facts and arguments won’t persuade someone who can’t admit they’re wrong. They might say that your facts are false, blame someone else, make up excuses, or attack you.

Dr. Winch recommends that instead of engaging in a protracted argument, just state your case clearly and calmly, and then end the discussion when it becomes unproductive. He also suggests trying to find compassion for that never-wrong person. After all, through their negative behavior, they are shielding their threatened ego with their insistence on always being right.³

Counseling can be helpful to people suffering from “always right syndrome.” A skillful counselor can help them recognize the feelings (like stress, guilt, or embarrassment) that can indicate they may be wrong. A counselor can also help people who refuse to be wrong to recognize their patterns of rationalizations and justifications. A licensed clinical mental health counselor can also help people who have family members, spouses, or bosses who always have to be right.

Professional mental health counselors empower people to overcome emotional challenges. A master’s in clinical mental health counseling from Walden University can help you gain the skills you need to become an effective, empathetic counselor. This clinical mental health counseling online degree program offers the academic preparation required for state certification or licensure to become a practicing counselor.

The program offers a General Program as well as a range of specializations, including Addiction Counseling; Forensic Counseling; Marriage, Couple, and Family Counseling; Military Families and Culture; and Trauma and Crisis Counseling. Walden’s MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling online degree program is accredited by the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP).

If you want to help people find hope and healing as they face life’s challenges, Walden can prepare you for a fulfilling career as a mental health counselor.

Walden University is an accredited institution offering an MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling and other counseling degree programs online. Expand your career options and earn your degree in a convenient, flexible format that fits your busy life.

Walden University is accredited by The Higher Learning Commission, www.hlcommission.org.

¹Source: www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-squeaky-wheel/201811/why-some-people-will-never-admit-theyre-wrong
²Source: slate.com/technology/2011/05/apocalypse-2011-what-happens-to-a-doomsday-cult-when-the-world-doesn-t-end.html
³Source: ideas.ted.com/why-some-people-cant-apologize

Walden University’s MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program is accredited by the Council for Accreditation of Counseling and Related Educational Programs (CACREP), a specialized accrediting body recognized by the Council for Higher Education Accreditation (CHEA), which is a requirement for licensure in many states. The MS in Clinical Mental Health Counseling program is designed to prepare graduates to qualify to sit for licensing exams and to meet the academic licensure requirements of many state counseling boards. Because no graduate program can guarantee licensure upon graduation, we encourage students to consult the appropriate agency to determine specific requirements. For more information about licensure, students should visit the National Board for Certified Counselors at www.nbcc.org/stateboard, the American Association of State Counseling Boards at www.aascb.org, and contact the appropriate licensing body. International students are encouraged to identify and contact their appropriate licensing body. Learn more about professional licensure.